Seven Different Types of Men.
Below is an abridge list of the various types of the male stereotype which you are likely to meet in the dating world with a slight description of their major personality traits. By going through this list, you will be better able to recognize the sort of man you want to be with and to avoid wasting you precious time on those you don't want to be with. I will begin with the male stereotype the uninformed women easily and gleefully fall for, 'the smooth operator'.
Type One:
THE PLAYER.
Now here is a guy who thinks he is Gods gift to women and nothing you say is likely to convince him otherwise. His natural good looks and charm always give him a leeway with the women. He's smooth talking, calculating and everything but faithful in a relationship. Because women are naturally influenced by words, it takes the grace of God and the wisdom of the spirit to see through the antics of this type of men cause he knows just the right words to say in every occasion.
He'll take you out to a real posh restaurant. It's supposed to be his treat but at the end of the day, you may end up footing the bill. “After all”, you say to yourself, “he's such an angel and just this once won't hurt.” The problem is it often doesn't always all end there and this could very soon become common practice.
He's a professional con-artist and will spare no expense to ensure he creates a good impression. He'll wine you, dine you, and try to bed you. If he succeeds, he'll dump you and then move on to the next target. Even then, he really won't think he's done anything wrong.
He'll tell you he loves you but what he really means is that he loves manipulating you. If you think that's a compliment, then you may want to reconsider cause he says that to every woman he approaches and you can be sure you won't be the last.
Remove the body, the physical contact and you won't matter anymore. Not surprising however is the fact that lots of women would give their right arm to have a date with this kind. His looks and smoothness ensures this.
However, after getting their fingers burnt a few times, the smarter women learn their lesson and rearrange their priorities with regard to their choice of men.
The less fortunate ones however never seem to learn and it would take a miracle to cure them of this disease. They know loving such men is a hopeless quest but somehow they are hooked. Only women who are led by the spirit of God will be able to see through such antics and will escape this trap.
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Type Two:
THE PERVERT
To the unconverted woman, he may appear fun to be with but that impression is soon changed after he tries to rape you after just two weeks of dating. At the end of the first date, he's already suggesting you stop by at his apartment for a drink. Never mind that you're not thirsty.
In case you're wondering why he's asking you over to his house, let me assure you that it's not to show you his freshly polished floors.
He virtually believes women were created to perform two functions only, cooking his meals and for sex. Often however, he wouldn't mind going without food but deprive him of sex and you'd be asking for it. Of course some women would appreciate a man with an enormous libido in the beginning but when you start finding it difficult to walk after three weeks of constant sex during your honey moon, you know you're in for it.
He wants sex in the bedroom, the bathroom, the living room and in the kitchen. One of the basic problems with such men is their tendency to be unfaithful due to their huge and often uncontrolled sexual drive. They could also end up bringing home some not too pleasant biological guests called STD's to you since they generally finds it hard to keep their pants on regardless of who they are having sex with. Take it from me, stay away from such men cause they will lead you down the path of heart break, misery, sin and disease.
Type Three:
THE MAMA'S BOY.
“Therefore shall a man leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one”.
The first sign of trouble probably comes when you bake him a cake on his birthday expecting him to be full of praises for you for your efforts. However, instead of giving you the credit you deserve, he nonchalantly roles out a “My mom used to make them with resins” and no more. That's all the thanks you get for slaving yourself for hours in the kitchen over the stove.
You ask him what his plans are for thanksgiving and he'll answer, “I'll have to check with my mum first”. You call his attention to a beautiful purple dress you see while you're both window-shopping and all he can say is “My mum's favorite color is pink”.
Should you be fortunate enough that his mother doesn't tell him “dump her” and the relationship progresses to the stage where you're planning to get married, he'll probably insist you make some minor adjustments to his mothers wedding dress and put that on rather than make your own dress.
He'll tell you stories, compare your every act with his mom and insist you fry his eggs the way his mother used to. His favorite phrase for starting any conversation or discussion is “mum said”, and he often ends everything with “I'm sure mum would like that” or “I'll ask mum”. Make no mistake, you may think you're dating him but you're actually dating his mother.
Then again, woe betides you if you ever get on his mother's wrong side. One word of displeasure from her to him about you and you might as well kiss the relationship goodbye. The truth is such men can't think for themselves and have to rely on their mothers to think for them so if you don't mind this transfer of power and authority from the son to the mother, this just might be the man for you.
Type Four:
THE WORKAHOLIC.
When he was eleven months old, his mother smiled at him and said, “say mama”. “Mama” she repeated. He smiled back at her and instead goggled, “money”. His parents thought if was funny, but little did they know he was letting them into his single most important reason for living; to make all the money in the world. He believes hard work is the way to wealth, comfort, luxury and the best things in life. He probably has a point, but the problem is he never seems to know when to stop.
He spends the whole day with his nose in print outs of figures on stock values and forgets that he's supposed to go home at the end of the day. Of course he also wants a steady relationship but he somehow just can't seem to find the time to build one.
His last girlfriend lost out on him when she stormed into his office one Friday evening and screamed, “It's either me or your job”. I'm sure you know what his choice was.
Deep down inside he may truly be a nice caring man but his routine and life-style never seem to allow others the opportunity to find out.
He may grow out of it once he realizes that he'll probably spend the rest of his life alone except he learns to spend quality time with his creator and his woman. Unfortunately, only a handful of men plagued with this disease ever manage to make healthy adjustments; some never do. For those who manage to adjust, the change doesn't come in one day. Sometimes it takes months or years.
When it comes to such men, if it's lots of money you want, you've got it. If however you also want lots of quality time, love and attention, you might as well forget it. You'll get his money but you will not get his time. It's not necessarily because he doesn't love you, he just can't see why he should spend a whole hour cuddling up with you on the sofa when he could spend that same time in the office churning up a few more million bucks.
Type Five:
THE DICTATOR.
As far as he's concerned it's his way or the highway. In the beginning, he might have seemed very considerate and caring and you saw his dictatorial instincts as a sign of a man in control; that was of course until you found out you weren't supposed to even breathe without his consent. He used to ask you what you wanted, how you felt and what your plans were. However, a few weeks of dating and a clearer picture emerges; it happens he's not all he tried to make you believe he was. He is a reminder of the saying, which goes, “all that glitters isn't gold”.
He likes his coffee black and he thinks you should like it that way too. On your birthday he plans a special diner for two at a posh Chinese restaurant; it doesn't matter that you really hate Chinese food. As a married couple, he will wake you up at a quarter past midnight and demands sex. You probably give in to him because you love him. However, should you happen to be in the mood on some rainy Saturday night, don't be surprised if he turns you down cause his not in the mood and he'd rather watch a replay of last years football finals. To him, the only opinion that count are his and it doesn't matter how you feel about it.
Often such men see women as being somewhat inferior to them and as a result believe that women have interests, a view of life or opinions that are inferior and hence his self imposed role as final and only authority on any matter that concerns him or both of you. If you're looking for a man who will call all the shots (including when you breath) this just might be the man for you.
Type Six:
THE MACHO MAN.
Perhaps the greatest set back of such men in their inability to show love and tenderness. As a little boy, mummy always told him, “Stop crying, men don't cry”. She didn't know it then but she was unconsciously building the perfect human machine; a Cyborge. Gradually he grew up to learn to hide his inner feeling and suppress his emotions; this unfortunately included the feeling of love.
He hardly smiles, laughs, or expresses his inner feelings. He can date a woman for close to a year before attempting to say the words “I love you”. Should you however start to think that the jinx is broken when you finally hear him say those three words some twelve months into the relationship on some magical evening, you may want to think again. It may be another year before you hear those words again so make sure you get a tape recorder or camcoder to get such rare moments recorded so you can have them played back over again in the future.
His rigid, seemingly emotionless approach to life does not mean that he doesn't have feelings, feel pain or desire to share love. The problem however is because he was brought up to believe men should be tough and unbreakable, he has a really hard time showing his woman he cares for her. This in turn may lead to more fights than necessary, a feeling of insecurity on the woman's part and a failure of the relationship to reach the richest depths of fulfillment, pleasure and sharing possible between a man and a woman in love.
Type Seven:
THE TRUE GENTLE MAN.
Here is a man who has the tendency to display character traits of any of the six types of previously described men. However, because such men have submitted themselves to the leading of the spirit, they are they are transformed and equipped by the spirit to fit perfectly into the role and a fitting husband and father to your children. His actions are selfless because he has the love of God in him.
He loves himself so he can love you too. He opens the door for you to go in first at the restaurant when you go out for dinner and he delights in making you happy. He understands and appreciates the fact that you have a mind of your own and that's one of his major attractions to you. He doesn't try to impose his ideas and opinions on you all the time but encourages you to grow, to be yourself, to be a complete person.
Of course he is a man and the tendency to be over protective and unnecessarily involved in your business may make a show sometimes but should you raise an eyebrow or indicate even the slightest hint of displeasure at these excesses, he quickly adjusts his position and apologizes.
He takes his job seriously and understands the importance of bringing home the bread at the end of the day but he'll always find that special time to spend with you.
In your marriage, he just might desire sex more than you do but he won't try to rush you; he'll wait till you're ready. This doesn't mean he won't try to encourage you to be ready or that he won't try to initiate sex from time to time while he is waiting for you to be ready. However, at no time will he insist that he has his way until you indicate that you're truly ready.
He is a man in the fullest most complete sense of the word and unlike the other men who do not have the leading of the spirit; he will not welcome undue interference in issues concerning his relationship with his woman. He respects his parent's opinion but because he is a matured, grown, spirit led man, he has the last word on his love life among other things that personally have to do with him and will not tolerate anyone else trying to run his life or his relationship.
He is at peace with himself and so he can freely express his feelings to you and say, “I love you” without feeling any less a man. He could be described in one phrase as every woman's man. The kind of man most women want to spend the rest of their life with.
MAKING IT COUNT
Now that you know the various personality types different men exhibit, I am sure you agree with me that the spirit led man is the smart type of man to date or go into courtship with. Of course the descriptions given here are more on ideals and you and I know there are very few, if any ideals in life. These descriptions are however expected to give you a general overview of the various kinds of character traits different kinds of men display as individuals and to enable you recognize each and as such predict the likely outcome of you building a relationship with any of the different types described here..
In other words, you can tell from the very start what the likely outcome is going to be and then decide if it'll be worth your time. At this point I would like to offer you my heart felt advice, “stick to the spirit led sort of men”. Such men are open to the influence and the instruction of the spirit and will make the best husbands and fathers.
Now we know that the spirit led men are the best sort of men but because we all have different personalities and tastes, not all spirit filled men can be said to be right for you. If it were so, all a woman would need to do to get married is walk into the nearest bible believing church and accept the marriage proposal of the first Christian man that walks up to her.
However you and I know that this is not the case. Even when you are blessed enough to be acquainted with true Christian men you still need to be sure that you can build a fulfilling relationship that will lead to a blissful marriage with him. The next part of this book shows you how to sift through the best type of men to find the one that is most suited for you.
Culled from my book 'Are you the right man for me?'
