5 Ways to make Him Love you more

Most of us want more of the good things of life and the love of the one we cherish isn’t any less important. So, how do you as a lady get your partner to love you more? In this article I am assuming that your love interest already has some romantic feelings for you and you would like to nudge their feelings a notch higher. If that’s the case then read on.

1.       Don’t change who you are

Most men marry the women they do because they like what they see in her. That doesn’t mean that they might not appreciate her improving on some rough spots in her personality or approach to life but generally speaking, if he popped the question then he must have bought into your person.

Unfortunately most women change after marriage and yet they wonder why their man stops treating them the way he used to. In my part of the world where I come from men are not supposed to complain about anything or to express themselves even if they feel slighted. A man expressing himself is seen as a sign of weakness so most men just keep mute and act like all is well even when it’s not.

Sadly that doesn’t change the fact that he’s not happy with some changes you’ve made in yourself since you got married but since he feels that it’s unmanly to speak up, he keeps quite about them. If the change you made in yourself keeps him from having some of his needs met he may look outside his relationship or marriage to have these needs met.

Why am I talking about my culturally peculiarity with regard to an expressive man being seen as being too feminine? It’s because this mindset stops some men from speaking up and giving their women the chance to correct any of the unwholesome new personality traits they might pick up after marriage.

As an example of how this “don’t speak your mind” mindset can wreck havoc in a marriage, take the following illustration as a case study.

 Let’s assume a man and woman meet each other at a seminar or someplace else. With time they really get into each other. Woman loves her new man and man loves his woman and they are crazy over each other while dating or in courtship. After marriage woman changes but man can’t complain cause he’s a man and isn’t supposed to complain. Yet man is deeply disturbed because these changes deprive him of a lot of the benefits he was accustomed to getting from his partner while they were dating.

Woman is unaware that her new habits or the abandonment of some of her old desirable habits has led to her man feeling insecure and unappreciated. Man feels trapped and frustrated but doesn’t want to seem or appear a nagging male or a sissy so he decides to solve his problems without discussing them with his spouse. Man goes on to start to seek other female company as a means to getting the validating he seeks and meeting the needs he wants met which his wife or partner isn’t meeting.

The bottom line is, if you don’t want your partner to change, point number one is don’t change who you are before you got married except you are making changes to become a better person. Never make changes to become less desirable only to become more. Also make sure your man is free to speak up when he’s not ok with anything so you can work things out so they don’t fester and become bigger problems in the future.

Still on the subject of change, only try to change if it’s with regard to something he has complained about or wants changed. If he hasn’t complained about it or you know he likes it the way it is then it’s generally a good idea not to change it.

As a side note, this article does not mean to suggest that only women change after marriage and that men don’t change too. In reality some men are the ones who change after marriage so in all fairness a man’s change in attitude after marriage independent of his wife’s treatment of him is very possible and real.

Yet I read a piece somewhere and it read, “Women marry a man hoping he will change while men marry a woman hoping she won’t change”, so it would appear that women are the ones who are more prone to changing in relationships; from my personal experience in relationships I can say that this does tend to be true.

 I am not stating this as a fact just an opinion. That’s said, this article is focused on how a woman can avoid shooting her relationship or marriage in the foot. Some other time we’ll talk about the men.

2.       Respect him

As someone once said, without love it is impossible for a man to love a woman. Sadly these days most women feel that the capacity of their man to still love them while they intentionally disrespect him is a sign of his love for them. As such, they actually go out of their way to disrespect and emasculate their man as a test of his love; what a pity.

For those women who feel that disrespecting their man is cool because it helps her test his love for you, how would you feel if your husband or partner also started to test your love for him by sleeping with your best friend or stopped providing financial support to see if you would still love him?

I’m sure you wouldn’t buy into that so my point is there are normal and acceptable rules of interaction and cohabitation in intimate relationships and marriage and one of those rules is respect. If you want to keep him loving you, pleaseeeeee RESPECT HIM.

3.       Look good

Yes all or at least most women know this but the question is how many of them still take time to look good especially after the kids start coming? Given that there are some women who wouldn’t be caught dead not looking their best yet the truth still is that some others stop taking care of themselves after they get married.

Agreed that the responsibilities of being married can eat away at some of the time you used to have at your disposal to do your make up in your single days but you still can make an attempt to at least put forward your “I’m still a woman ” face most of the time. Don’t stop looking good because you’re married; keep doing your best to look your best.

4.       Love sex with him

Stop being a prude with the man you married, love him; love his body, love sex with him and show him you do. Believe it or not, a man knows when you enjoyed being with him. It’s not just about the fake orgasms; it’s about a deeper connection that communicates satisfaction or dissatisfaction at the end of the day.

Learn to respond to and appreciate your man’s thrusts and touch. As you become one with him sexually he will see you more as his soul mate and less as his flat mate.

5.       Be happy

One of the best things you can do for yourself and for your relationship with your man is to be happy. When a man loves a woman, all he wants is to make her happy. Unfortunately, the reality is that no one can make anyone happy; you just have to decide to be happy yourself.

Here’s the catch, when a man can’t make the woman he loves and wants to be with happy, he feels like a failure. If he keeps trying and can’t succeed, he gives up on trying and starts to see himself as unworthy of the woman he loves. He may start to feel insecure or decide to break up the relationship because he can’t make her happy and so believes he is not worthy of her.

If you really want to help your man in becoming a better man and in loving you more then put his mind at ease by making up your mind to be happy. When he sees you happy he will be at peace with himself and will then be able to focus on things that matter most for the success of your relationship. He will also now be encouraged to do his best to make sure nothing takes away your happiness.

Now you might say, “I’m already a happy person”. The question is, does he know it? Do you show your happiness and share it with him? How do you share your happiness? The simplest way to share your happiness is through a pleasing attitude and a smile.  Happy people smile a lot and have a positive vibrant disposition about them. They are at peace with themselves and they love themselves. Does this describe your?

 Learn to be happy and watch your man appreciate you more. (Except from my books "21 qualities of highly attractive women) you click here http://debonairbookstore.com/bookpage.php?isbn=9789784841856 to get the complete book 

Taire Stephen is the author of over 18 mini books on relationships and motivation. They include: Understanding Men, Understanding Women, 21 qualities of highly attractive women, Nice girls don't get Mr. Right smart girls do, Dating Rules, Understanding Women, Bridges, 21 laws of intimacy etc.