Taire Stephen: Flirt like a Pro!: So You mean flirt? Really? Yes I mean flirt and like really. The word flirt or flirting is bound to raise an eye brow with most folks es...
Monday, September 12, 2016
Flirt like a Pro!
Yes I mean flirt and like really. The word flirt or flirting is bound to raise an eye brow with most
folks especially the conservative lot. Flirting comes across to many as dirty,
filthy, and sinful even evil. But is it really?
Not necessarily. If that was
the case then we would all be dirty and filthy and sinful cos we all flirt at
one time or the other. We all flirt at some point in our lives. The difference
is that some of us do it effectively and objectively and we end up finding love
while others do it badly and end up being rejected.
For those who don’t know how to
flirt effectively and are willing to learn how it’s done, this book is for you.
So back to the morals of the
concept of flirting. Is flirting really bad? No its not. It all depends on why
you are flirting in the first place; provided you even know how to flirt
effectively.
Flirting like anything else in
life can be used for good or for bad. It can be used to find a husband like
Ruth did in Ruth Chapters 3 and 4, or it can be used to find a wife and to
raise a family. On the other hand it can be used to solicit for clients by a
prostitute who wants to make money; it’s all about the intent.
Flirting is a tool, and a means
to an end; it all depends on you.
So
what does it mean to flirt?
So what does it mean to flirt?
What is the definition of flirting? A quick search on google brought up this
definition, “to behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully
rather than with serious intentions”.
Opps!
I just said SEX!
So flirting is kind of a game,
a kind of play to stimulate sexual interest in someone you are interested in.
Oops! Guess I just mentioned another controversial word, SEX! But then again is
sex a bad thing or a good thing? My answer again is that it depends. Some
people use sex as a way of having illegal fun and pleasure or to make money
while others use it in marriage to raise a family to the glory of God.
I am convinced that sex in
itself is not a bad thing, it’s the abuse of sex for selfish gain that is bad.
To get more on sex, sexuality and sexual depth read my book UNDERSTANDING SEX. Get it here http://tairestephen.com/books
If after all I have said you
still think that sex is a bad thing by default then I would advise you to go
open your bible and read the songs of Solomon. That book talks mainly about
sexual desire of a man and woman for each other. If sex was a bad thing by
default then it wouldn’t be in the bible. It is not sex that is bad, it’s the
abuse of sex that is bad; get that clear.
If at this point you still are
not convinced, please stop reading thing book and close the file. Thank you.
Now let’s move on.
You
can master the game of flirting
So how do we become masters at
the game of flirting? How do we apply the outer game of flirting to perfection?
Well to master the outer game of flirting you first need to take care of the
inner game; you need to build your self-esteem, your self-confidence.
All of us are always talking to
ourselves in our heads. We are always conversing with ourselves without even
knowing it. We talk to ourselves all the time. Sadly most of the time we talk
negatively to ourselves.
To get the rest of this free ebook kindly follow the link below to download it now!
Monday, May 02, 2016
The sexual commodity called woman
Are women sex objects? Are they created simply to satisfy
and feed the sexual cravings of the men folk? Is the place of a woman strictly on
her back in the bedroom and the kitchen?
To start with it’s this kind of articles that gets men in to
trouble with women but what can I say, maybe I like walking on the edge.
First of all I think that the truth really is that women are
indeed sexual being. You only have to take a look at them to see this. Virtually
everything about a woman screams of sexuality.
From the way she dresses emphasizing her hips, buttocks and
boobs to the amount of time she spends wearing makeup in a bid to attract men
and women; it all speaks of sex.
In my opinion, the subject of whether or not women are
sexual beings need not arise. The real question is, “are women more than just
sexual beings” and my answer to that question is yes.
Women were created to fill a void in a man’s life and that
void includes but transcends sex.
Women are our nurturers, our care givers, our sisters, our
mothers and wives.
They fill up the gaps and help us get through times and
situations that we would otherwise be unable to.
Women love us, guide us, coerce us to eat fruits from forbidden
trees and strengthen us when we are weak.
If women indeed do all these thing and are all these things
why then do so many view them as mere sex objects?
Sadly the answer to that question lies in women themselves.
Truly women were created with a capacity to fulfill and
complete humanity in ways that are far reaching and beyond sexual pleasures but
the problem is that too many women have failed to realize this truth. Lots of
women have gone on through self-portrayal to suggest that all women are sex
objects.
Trends in female fashion that focus on showing up more than
decent amounts of flesh and body parts, trends in society that see many women
insisting that a man who can’t give them ten orgasms a night isn’t worth being
called a man and the associated trends of women emphasizing sex as the most
critical factor to the success of a marriage alongside or before money leaves
many men with the perception that women may indeed be no more than sex objects.
Off course we are all aware of the age old practice of some women trading sex
for money.
Yet when you observe the army of female doctors doing noteworthy
things in the medical profession or business women in different spheres of
commerce building and leading fortune 500 companies you realize that the sex
object objectification of women isn’t exactly accurate.
Whenever women are seen as sex objects it is often because
of the antecedents of some of the same women folk who cry out against this inaccurate
categorization.
Like someone once said, “you are addressed the way you are
dressed”.
Are women sex objects? My answer is no. however until women
start to migrate from tendencies and habits that consistently label them as
such they might inadvertently continue to promote this wrong and faulty
perception about the women folk.
Tuesday, December 09, 2014
7 MALE STEREOTYPES
Seven Different Types of Men.
Below is an abridge list of the various types of the male stereotype which you are likely to meet in the dating world with a slight description of their major personality traits. By going through this list, you will be better able to recognize the sort of man you want to be with and to avoid wasting you precious time on those you don't want to be with. I will begin with the male stereotype the uninformed women easily and gleefully fall for, 'the smooth operator'.
Type One:
THE PLAYER.
Now here is a guy who thinks he is Gods gift to women and nothing you say is likely to convince him otherwise. His natural good looks and charm always give him a leeway with the women. He's smooth talking, calculating and everything but faithful in a relationship. Because women are naturally influenced by words, it takes the grace of God and the wisdom of the spirit to see through the antics of this type of men cause he knows just the right words to say in every occasion.
He'll take you out to a real posh restaurant. It's supposed to be his treat but at the end of the day, you may end up footing the bill. “After all”, you say to yourself, “he's such an angel and just this once won't hurt.” The problem is it often doesn't always all end there and this could very soon become common practice.
He's a professional con-artist and will spare no expense to ensure he creates a good impression. He'll wine you, dine you, and try to bed you. If he succeeds, he'll dump you and then move on to the next target. Even then, he really won't think he's done anything wrong.
He'll tell you he loves you but what he really means is that he loves manipulating you. If you think that's a compliment, then you may want to reconsider cause he says that to every woman he approaches and you can be sure you won't be the last.
Remove the body, the physical contact and you won't matter anymore. Not surprising however is the fact that lots of women would give their right arm to have a date with this kind. His looks and smoothness ensures this.
However, after getting their fingers burnt a few times, the smarter women learn their lesson and rearrange their priorities with regard to their choice of men.
The less fortunate ones however never seem to learn and it would take a miracle to cure them of this disease. They know loving such men is a hopeless quest but somehow they are hooked. Only women who are led by the spirit of God will be able to see through such antics and will escape this trap.
.
Type Two:
THE PERVERT
To the unconverted woman, he may appear fun to be with but that impression is soon changed after he tries to rape you after just two weeks of dating. At the end of the first date, he's already suggesting you stop by at his apartment for a drink. Never mind that you're not thirsty.
In case you're wondering why he's asking you over to his house, let me assure you that it's not to show you his freshly polished floors.
He virtually believes women were created to perform two functions only, cooking his meals and for sex. Often however, he wouldn't mind going without food but deprive him of sex and you'd be asking for it. Of course some women would appreciate a man with an enormous libido in the beginning but when you start finding it difficult to walk after three weeks of constant sex during your honey moon, you know you're in for it.
He wants sex in the bedroom, the bathroom, the living room and in the kitchen. One of the basic problems with such men is their tendency to be unfaithful due to their huge and often uncontrolled sexual drive. They could also end up bringing home some not too pleasant biological guests called STD's to you since they generally finds it hard to keep their pants on regardless of who they are having sex with. Take it from me, stay away from such men cause they will lead you down the path of heart break, misery, sin and disease.
Type Three:
THE MAMA'S BOY.
“Therefore shall a man leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one”.
The first sign of trouble probably comes when you bake him a cake on his birthday expecting him to be full of praises for you for your efforts. However, instead of giving you the credit you deserve, he nonchalantly roles out a “My mom used to make them with resins” and no more. That's all the thanks you get for slaving yourself for hours in the kitchen over the stove.
You ask him what his plans are for thanksgiving and he'll answer, “I'll have to check with my mum first”. You call his attention to a beautiful purple dress you see while you're both window-shopping and all he can say is “My mum's favorite color is pink”.
Should you be fortunate enough that his mother doesn't tell him “dump her” and the relationship progresses to the stage where you're planning to get married, he'll probably insist you make some minor adjustments to his mothers wedding dress and put that on rather than make your own dress.
He'll tell you stories, compare your every act with his mom and insist you fry his eggs the way his mother used to. His favorite phrase for starting any conversation or discussion is “mum said”, and he often ends everything with “I'm sure mum would like that” or “I'll ask mum”. Make no mistake, you may think you're dating him but you're actually dating his mother.
Then again, woe betides you if you ever get on his mother's wrong side. One word of displeasure from her to him about you and you might as well kiss the relationship goodbye. The truth is such men can't think for themselves and have to rely on their mothers to think for them so if you don't mind this transfer of power and authority from the son to the mother, this just might be the man for you.
Type Four:
THE WORKAHOLIC.
When he was eleven months old, his mother smiled at him and said, “say mama”. “Mama” she repeated. He smiled back at her and instead goggled, “money”. His parents thought if was funny, but little did they know he was letting them into his single most important reason for living; to make all the money in the world. He believes hard work is the way to wealth, comfort, luxury and the best things in life. He probably has a point, but the problem is he never seems to know when to stop.
He spends the whole day with his nose in print outs of figures on stock values and forgets that he's supposed to go home at the end of the day. Of course he also wants a steady relationship but he somehow just can't seem to find the time to build one.
His last girlfriend lost out on him when she stormed into his office one Friday evening and screamed, “It's either me or your job”. I'm sure you know what his choice was.
Deep down inside he may truly be a nice caring man but his routine and life-style never seem to allow others the opportunity to find out.
He may grow out of it once he realizes that he'll probably spend the rest of his life alone except he learns to spend quality time with his creator and his woman. Unfortunately, only a handful of men plagued with this disease ever manage to make healthy adjustments; some never do. For those who manage to adjust, the change doesn't come in one day. Sometimes it takes months or years.
When it comes to such men, if it's lots of money you want, you've got it. If however you also want lots of quality time, love and attention, you might as well forget it. You'll get his money but you will not get his time. It's not necessarily because he doesn't love you, he just can't see why he should spend a whole hour cuddling up with you on the sofa when he could spend that same time in the office churning up a few more million bucks.
Type Five:
THE DICTATOR.
As far as he's concerned it's his way or the highway. In the beginning, he might have seemed very considerate and caring and you saw his dictatorial instincts as a sign of a man in control; that was of course until you found out you weren't supposed to even breathe without his consent. He used to ask you what you wanted, how you felt and what your plans were. However, a few weeks of dating and a clearer picture emerges; it happens he's not all he tried to make you believe he was. He is a reminder of the saying, which goes, “all that glitters isn't gold”.
He likes his coffee black and he thinks you should like it that way too. On your birthday he plans a special diner for two at a posh Chinese restaurant; it doesn't matter that you really hate Chinese food. As a married couple, he will wake you up at a quarter past midnight and demands sex. You probably give in to him because you love him. However, should you happen to be in the mood on some rainy Saturday night, don't be surprised if he turns you down cause his not in the mood and he'd rather watch a replay of last years football finals. To him, the only opinion that count are his and it doesn't matter how you feel about it.
Often such men see women as being somewhat inferior to them and as a result believe that women have interests, a view of life or opinions that are inferior and hence his self imposed role as final and only authority on any matter that concerns him or both of you. If you're looking for a man who will call all the shots (including when you breath) this just might be the man for you.
Type Six:
THE MACHO MAN.
Perhaps the greatest set back of such men in their inability to show love and tenderness. As a little boy, mummy always told him, “Stop crying, men don't cry”. She didn't know it then but she was unconsciously building the perfect human machine; a Cyborge. Gradually he grew up to learn to hide his inner feeling and suppress his emotions; this unfortunately included the feeling of love.
He hardly smiles, laughs, or expresses his inner feelings. He can date a woman for close to a year before attempting to say the words “I love you”. Should you however start to think that the jinx is broken when you finally hear him say those three words some twelve months into the relationship on some magical evening, you may want to think again. It may be another year before you hear those words again so make sure you get a tape recorder or camcoder to get such rare moments recorded so you can have them played back over again in the future.
His rigid, seemingly emotionless approach to life does not mean that he doesn't have feelings, feel pain or desire to share love. The problem however is because he was brought up to believe men should be tough and unbreakable, he has a really hard time showing his woman he cares for her. This in turn may lead to more fights than necessary, a feeling of insecurity on the woman's part and a failure of the relationship to reach the richest depths of fulfillment, pleasure and sharing possible between a man and a woman in love.
Type Seven:
THE TRUE GENTLE MAN.
Here is a man who has the tendency to display character traits of any of the six types of previously described men. However, because such men have submitted themselves to the leading of the spirit, they are they are transformed and equipped by the spirit to fit perfectly into the role and a fitting husband and father to your children. His actions are selfless because he has the love of God in him.
He loves himself so he can love you too. He opens the door for you to go in first at the restaurant when you go out for dinner and he delights in making you happy. He understands and appreciates the fact that you have a mind of your own and that's one of his major attractions to you. He doesn't try to impose his ideas and opinions on you all the time but encourages you to grow, to be yourself, to be a complete person.
Of course he is a man and the tendency to be over protective and unnecessarily involved in your business may make a show sometimes but should you raise an eyebrow or indicate even the slightest hint of displeasure at these excesses, he quickly adjusts his position and apologizes.
He takes his job seriously and understands the importance of bringing home the bread at the end of the day but he'll always find that special time to spend with you.
In your marriage, he just might desire sex more than you do but he won't try to rush you; he'll wait till you're ready. This doesn't mean he won't try to encourage you to be ready or that he won't try to initiate sex from time to time while he is waiting for you to be ready. However, at no time will he insist that he has his way until you indicate that you're truly ready.
He is a man in the fullest most complete sense of the word and unlike the other men who do not have the leading of the spirit; he will not welcome undue interference in issues concerning his relationship with his woman. He respects his parent's opinion but because he is a matured, grown, spirit led man, he has the last word on his love life among other things that personally have to do with him and will not tolerate anyone else trying to run his life or his relationship.
He is at peace with himself and so he can freely express his feelings to you and say, “I love you” without feeling any less a man. He could be described in one phrase as every woman's man. The kind of man most women want to spend the rest of their life with.
MAKING IT COUNT
Now that you know the various personality types different men exhibit, I am sure you agree with me that the spirit led man is the smart type of man to date or go into courtship with. Of course the descriptions given here are more on ideals and you and I know there are very few, if any ideals in life. These descriptions are however expected to give you a general overview of the various kinds of character traits different kinds of men display as individuals and to enable you recognize each and as such predict the likely outcome of you building a relationship with any of the different types described here..
In other words, you can tell from the very start what the likely outcome is going to be and then decide if it'll be worth your time. At this point I would like to offer you my heart felt advice, “stick to the spirit led sort of men”. Such men are open to the influence and the instruction of the spirit and will make the best husbands and fathers.
Now we know that the spirit led men are the best sort of men but because we all have different personalities and tastes, not all spirit filled men can be said to be right for you. If it were so, all a woman would need to do to get married is walk into the nearest bible believing church and accept the marriage proposal of the first Christian man that walks up to her.
However you and I know that this is not the case. Even when you are blessed enough to be acquainted with true Christian men you still need to be sure that you can build a fulfilling relationship that will lead to a blissful marriage with him. The next part of this book shows you how to sift through the best type of men to find the one that is most suited for you.
Culled from my book 'Are you the right man for me?'
Wednesday, October 01, 2014
The Sound of Hurried Footsteps
The sound of Hurried Footsteps is a story about an African journalist who gets into trouble while trying to cover stories of horrific acts happening in his native country. Its a good read.
This offer is for a limited time of 3 days so go get it now! Grab your free copy of
The Sound of Hurried Footsteps
Thursday, July 03, 2014
When to hold on and when to let go
1. Time: before you get into a relationship with a guy I believe a woman must have taken some time to decide if he’s her kind of guy. Once you get into one you also have to take some time to find out what really lies beneath the surface when it comes to your man. Is he of strong character, sincere, honest and reliable? Do five or more of every ten words he says a lie? If he can’t be trusted then you should as well move on.
2. Abuse: if a man shows himself to be physically or emotionally abusive then you may now want to hang around him for the long haul. In fact the moment you notice this trait I would suggest you move on. Sadly most women grow up feeling they are designed to fixed things. That it’s their place to fix a relationship. Truth is I agree to a certain extent. Women are said to have more capacity when it comes to managing relationships. However more women need to learn to tell the difference between situations that require management and situations that require that you run for your life. If he leaves his dirty socks lying all over the house that’s a situation that can be managed. If on the other hand he hits you or threatens your life every chance he gets then you should run.
3. Substance abuse: an unstable mind is a danger to those in its presence. It’s not a good idea to hang around someone who abuses substance because they can be pretty unpredictable. Besides the danger of violence that comes with substance abuse your finances will suffer. Persons who abuse substances tend to become addicted and when a person is addicted they will give away anything to get the next high. If he’s an alcoholic or on hard drugs then I think you should give taken that next step towards commitment a second thought.
Friday, September 06, 2013
Be Irrisistable
Today I will
be sharing a few tips on being more desirable to men from my book titled, “21
qualities of highly attractive women”. Hope you enjoy them.
1. …they possess pleasing personalities.
Women who attract more than their fair share of male attention
when it comes to the issue of marriage are generally women who are seen as
possessing pleasing personalities.
In my book “Dating Rules” one of the rules I outlined was, “Be
easy to be with”. One of the characteristics of people who have pleasing
personalities is that they are easy to be with.
Learn to be friendly and willing to help. You don’t necessarily have
to go out of your way unless it’s really important but as much as possible work
toward leaving a pleasant effect on others. Learn to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.
‘Please’ when you ask for something or when you want some help (even if it’s
your right or due) and ‘thank you’ when you get it.
You may think it’s totally unnecessary and you probably won’t get
an award for doing so but its just plain good manners and it sets you apart
from the crowd as one who is well groomed and cultured.
Practice saying ‘thank you’ at every opportunity you get. Say ‘thank
you’ to the cab man for the ride when you pay him. You don’t have to because
he’s getting paid for his services but it just portrays you as a cultured, high
class, decent and well brought up lady.
Don’t be a trouble maker looking for every opportunity to make
trouble. Yes trouble does come sometimes even when we are not intentionally
looking for it but until such times, do your best to keep the peace; leave the
drama alone.
Don’t be the kind of woman who will make trouble and pick fights
with the neighbors before her husband comes back from work.
Be a person with a pleasing personality. Be a peace maker, be
someone who is interested in the good of others as well as in her own good.
Show kindness to others. Show kindness to your friends, your
neighbors, you siblings, your parents, and your colleagues at work. Informed
people don’t judge you by how you treat them alone. On the contrary they access
you and come to a conclusion of the sort of person they believe you are based
on how you treat others as well.
Coming back to being easy to be with, don’t nag unnecessarily. If
possible, don’t nag at all. Learn to appreciate the little gifts of life.
Develop an attitude of gratitude toward life and toward your man. Don’t make
unnecessary and unreasonable demands. Learn to put your suggestions across to
your man as a suggestion and not as a command or as an ultimatum unless and
unless it is absolutely necessary and this should happen very rarely if you are
indeed with the right man for you.
If your man gets you a gold ring when you were expecting diamonds,
do your best to be appreciative of his efforts to please you. Later on and at a
much appropriate date when you know he is capable of getting you the diamonds you
want, you could just make a fleeting comment of how much you love diamonds. You
don’t have to ask or demand for them. If he is your man and he loves you he
will get them for you provided he can afford them.
Men love it when you suggest things to them subtly not demand and
insist that they do something for you as a condition for you to love them or
treat them right.
When you do this (expect to get something material before you
treat your man right) he starts to see your love or affection for him as having
a price tag on it and this often leads him seeing you as being for sale.
If you have to take the bus for a week because his car is bad and
at the mechanic’s don’t make his life anymore miserable by complaining each
time you both go out without the car. Don’t continuously complain of how much
you hate going out in public transport. Be a sport. Learn to adapt.
The truth is that women who are capable of adapting to different
situations are rare and highly sought after by serious minded men looking for a
lady to settle down with in marriage.
Learn to be a sport, learn to adapt to various circumstances and
situations in life. The more adaptable or flexible you are with life’s
challenges the more impressive you will be to your man. Every man wants a woman
who will stand by him no matter what comes his way.
2. they possess a healthy sense
of humor
We all can’t be the same and we all may not be able to see the
funny side of life with the same intensity but having or developing a good
sense of humor does come in handy.
Having the capacity to take an otherwise threatening or worrisome
experience and bringing out the lighter side of it has a way of diffusing tension
in situations. The capacity to see the funny side of life is a desirable one and
could easily take a load off the regular stress of life.
Being able to see the funny side of life can also be fun and lots
of times, a person’s wittiness or the lack of it is associated to an extent with
their IQ. In other words people who are better able to make jokes or laugh at
jokes are on some level perceived to be more intelligent.
It goes without saying that men find intelligent women attractive
so the more developed your sense of humor is the more it adds to your
attractiveness.
Generally persons with a well-developed sense of humor are persons
who are able to laugh at other peoples jokes and who are capable of creating
some funny situations or cracking some jokes themselves.
They do not necessarily have to be comedians. They just need to possess
the ability to appreciate the funny and lighter side of life. Like I often say,
moderation is always a good rule to go by here.
You want to be funny enough but you really don’t want to come
across as someone who’s completely incapable of having a serious minded
conversation with anyone so use your sense of humor sparingly.
If on the other hand, it happens that you appear to have a somewhat
overdeveloped sense of humor, then you may want to water things down a little
bit by being a bit more serious minded in your interactions with others.
Remember, moderation is a good rule to live by.
Being humorous is attractive and fun. Being too humorous is at
best irritating; except of course if you are a stand-up comedian by profession
and even then you need to watch it.
Men appreciate a woman who can laugh at their jokes and who can once
in a while come up with one of their own. The best expression of humor usually
has to do with taking something serious and seeing the funny side of it. You
don’t have to read books on comedy or memorize jokes to be humorous. The best
and easiest approach to humor is learning to see the funny side of everyday
life experiences and seeing the opportunity to crack a joke or create some
humor when faced with such opportunities..
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