Friday, September 06, 2013

Be Irrisistable


Nothing good hardly ever happens by chance. To find yourself attracting the sort of men you would want in your life you have to be the sort of woman they will be attracted to. By this I am assuming that you are a well cultured woman who seeks to find a well cultured man.

Today I will be sharing a few tips on being more desirable to men from my book titled, “21 qualities of highly attractive women”. Hope you enjoy them.


1.      …they possess pleasing personalities.

Women who attract more than their fair share of male attention when it comes to the issue of marriage are generally women who are seen as possessing pleasing personalities.

In my book “Dating Rules” one of the rules I outlined was, “Be easy to be with”. One of the characteristics of people who have pleasing personalities is that they are easy to be with.

Learn to be friendly and willing to help. You don’t necessarily have to go out of your way unless it’s really important but as much as possible work toward leaving a pleasant effect on others. Learn to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. ‘Please’ when you ask for something or when you want some help (even if it’s your right or due) and ‘thank you’ when you get it.

You may think it’s totally unnecessary and you probably won’t get an award for doing so but its just plain good manners and it sets you apart from the crowd as one who is well groomed and cultured.

Practice saying ‘thank you’ at every opportunity you get. Say ‘thank you’ to the cab man for the ride when you pay him. You don’t have to because he’s getting paid for his services but it just portrays you as a cultured, high class, decent and well brought up lady.

Don’t be a trouble maker looking for every opportunity to make trouble. Yes trouble does come sometimes even when we are not intentionally looking for it but until such times, do your best to keep the peace; leave the drama alone.

Don’t be the kind of woman who will make trouble and pick fights with the neighbors before her husband comes back from work.

Be a person with a pleasing personality. Be a peace maker, be someone who is interested in the good of others as well as in her own good.

Show kindness to others. Show kindness to your friends, your neighbors, you siblings, your parents, and your colleagues at work. Informed people don’t judge you by how you treat them alone. On the contrary they access you and come to a conclusion of the sort of person they believe you are based on how you treat others as well.

Coming back to being easy to be with, don’t nag unnecessarily. If possible, don’t nag at all. Learn to appreciate the little gifts of life. Develop an attitude of gratitude toward life and toward your man. Don’t make unnecessary and unreasonable demands. Learn to put your suggestions across to your man as a suggestion and not as a command or as an ultimatum unless and unless it is absolutely necessary and this should happen very rarely if you are indeed with the right man for you.

If your man gets you a gold ring when you were expecting diamonds, do your best to be appreciative of his efforts to please you. Later on and at a much appropriate date when you know he is capable of getting you the diamonds you want, you could just make a fleeting comment of how much you love diamonds. You don’t have to ask or demand for them. If he is your man and he loves you he will get them for you provided he can afford them.

Men love it when you suggest things to them subtly not demand and insist that they do something for you as a condition for you to love them or treat them right.

When you do this (expect to get something material before you treat your man right) he starts to see your love or affection for him as having a price tag on it and this often leads him seeing you as being for sale.

If you have to take the bus for a week because his car is bad and at the mechanic’s don’t make his life anymore miserable by complaining each time you both go out without the car. Don’t continuously complain of how much you hate going out in public transport. Be a sport. Learn to adapt.

The truth is that women who are capable of adapting to different situations are rare and highly sought after by serious minded men looking for a lady to settle down with in marriage.

Learn to be a sport, learn to adapt to various circumstances and situations in life. The more adaptable or flexible you are with life’s challenges the more impressive you will be to your man. Every man wants a woman who will stand by him no matter what comes his way.



2.      they possess a healthy sense of humor

We all can’t be the same and we all may not be able to see the funny side of life with the same intensity but having or developing a good sense of humor does come in handy.

Having the capacity to take an otherwise threatening or worrisome experience and bringing out the lighter side of it has a way of diffusing tension in situations. The capacity to see the funny side of life is a desirable one and could easily take a load off the regular stress of life.

Being able to see the funny side of life can also be fun and lots of times, a person’s wittiness or the lack of it is associated to an extent with their IQ. In other words people who are better able to make jokes or laugh at jokes are on some level perceived to be more intelligent.

It goes without saying that men find intelligent women attractive so the more developed your sense of humor is the more it adds to your attractiveness.

Generally persons with a well-developed sense of humor are persons who are able to laugh at other peoples jokes and who are capable of creating some funny situations or cracking some jokes themselves.

They do not necessarily have to be comedians. They just need to possess the ability to appreciate the funny and lighter side of life. Like I often say, moderation is always a good rule to go by here.

You want to be funny enough but you really don’t want to come across as someone who’s completely incapable of having a serious minded conversation with anyone so use your sense of humor sparingly.

If on the other hand, it happens that you appear to have a somewhat overdeveloped sense of humor, then you may want to water things down a little bit by being a bit more serious minded in your interactions with others. Remember, moderation is a good rule to live by.

Being humorous is attractive and fun. Being too humorous is at best irritating; except of course if you are a stand-up comedian by profession and even then you need to watch it.

Men appreciate a woman who can laugh at their jokes and who can once in a while come up with one of their own. The best expression of humor usually has to do with taking something serious and seeing the funny side of it. You don’t have to read books on comedy or memorize jokes to be humorous. The best and easiest approach to humor is learning to see the funny side of everyday life experiences and seeing the opportunity to crack a joke or create some humor when faced with such opportunities..



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